Friday, July 8, 2011

RED SKULL: ENDINGS - PT. 2

RICK: Red Skull is Captain America's villain during WWII and an evil, sadistic man bent on destroying the whole world. Red Skull must be defeated and Captain America must win. Yet, Cap must also end up frozen in ice at the end AND the Red Skull must limp away to plot evil again. To portray this in terms of film, each scene must balanced or the ending will be flat...

BEN: Like last time, I'll comment after the first go-through of his script.


SUMMARY PT. 1
Somewhere below the Arctic Circle the Red Skull holds Cap inside a submarine. Cap is weak and bound, an easy kill for the Red Skull...

RED SKULL
What was motivating you to crawl to me on your hands and
knees? You are simply too weak for me to care about.

He leaves Hilda to slit Cap's throat.

An now for PT. 2!



RED SKULL: ENDINGS - PT. 2


INT. SUBMARINE - MOMENTS LATER

Red Skull can be seen walking through corridors, sliding down ladders to lower levels until he catches up to the two large Nazis and the three remaining bar maids.

FIRST NAZI
Where is Hilda...?

RED SKULL
She volunteered to stay with the American. She won't be joining us.

They reach a hatch going down. It has a warning "X" on it. The Red Skull spins the handle, opens it and motions for the girls to go down the ladder.

RED SKULL
This is as far as you go soldiers. I need you to scuttle the ship
when I have gone. You may also encounter our visitor and I am ordering
you to do what is right for the Reich. Do not let anyone pass.

FIRST NAZI
It is our honor to serve you Red Skull...

SECOND NAZI
The American is a weakling.

FIRST & SECOND NAZI in unison
Long live the Red Skull!!

RED SKULL
Danke.

Red Skull blows a smoke ring at the two men and descends. The hatch clangs shut and the handle turns.

FIRST NAZI
Why didn't Herr Skull finish the Amerikaner? Why did he leave Hilda with him?

CUT TO: XCU of SS knife. We are back in the chamber with Cap and Hilda.
Hilda is playing with the knife, changing her grip nervously.

CAPTAIN AMERICA
Cut me free.

HILDA
My father and mother died in Allied bombing...

CAPTAIN AMERICA
Red Skull must pay for his crimes...

HILDA
My older brother was shot in the head by an American soldier...

She draws the knife close to Captain America's neck.

CAPTAIN AMERICA
The war is over. You don't need to do this.

HILDA
My sister Helga was fourteen. Do you know what they did to her?
Can you even guess?

The knife starts to dig into his flesh. Cap becomes very still.

HILDA
Red Skull promised me that someday I could take my vengeance,
someday I could show the Allies my strength, someday my
family could rest in peace...

We see only her face as she makes a mad slash. Flecks of blood cover it. She is laughing.

CUT TO: Red Skull and the three bar maids. They are inside a giant housing underneath the submarine. It is actually many times larger than the sub itself and consists of a broad steel floor dominated by a gigantic circular sunken area filled with sea water. Pieces of ice float in portions of it but the area is not lit up and only a fraction can be seen. The steel floor stretches in every direction hinting at a its size. It is loaded with all manner of goods from automobiles to racks of clothing, crates of alcohol, food, munitions, aircraft, tanks, artworks, gold bars and more.

Red Skull looks down the circular walkway and motions towards the remaining three girls. They approach as ordered. He reaches into a wooden crate and pulls out three bottles of French champagne.

RED SKULL
Tonight we celebrate. Put these on ice and slip into something more comfortable.

They depart leaving Red Skull alone on the walkway. He strides briskly to another set of crates, opens them and pulls out pistols and ammunition. As he loads the weapons he talks.

RED SKULL
Captain America. I can not kill you when you are so weak.
It does not prove my superiority to do so. Whatever power
on earth brought you here, you will regret it.

Finishes loading pistols. Heads in direction bar maids went.

XXXXX

We return to Hilda and Captain America. She is speckled with blood and sitting on the floor holding the Nazi dagger. Captain America is unmoving and bound on the floor.

HILDA
I need to know something. Why did you come here? Herr Skull is much
more powerful than you. He will beat you and leave your bones to bleach.

She pauses and becomes more serious. Perhaps realizing that a life is in her hands.

HILDA
I slit your throat. Not deeply but I did it, as requested by Herr Skull.

CAPTAIN AMERICA
Cut my rope.

As he says this a loud alarm sounds on the submarine. Somewhere above there is a sound like thunder. The whole compartment shakes.

HILDA
What is it?

The noise is getting louder. she stands and looks up at the ceiling. She can hear pipes creaking. Then, it is unmistakable, the sound of running water in a torrent.
HILDA (turns back to Cap)
Will you kill him? Will you kill Herr Skull?

CAPTAIN AMERICA
He is a war criminal. I must bring him alive to justice...

HILDA
I need to know. If you can't take him alive? What then?

CAPTAIN AMERICA
I will take his body back to show the world that he is a threat no more.

Icy water is running down the walls and starts filling up the compartment. Cap can barely hold his head above water. Metal groans even louder. Hilda holds the knife carefully.

HILDA
I can't cut your ropes. You will find a hatch on the lower deck marked with an "X".
That is where he will be. If you are as courageous as you see, you must face him there.

She tosses the knife at Cap and runs through the hatch as the water covers his head. Cap wiggles and picks up the knife with his tied hands. He manages to cut himself free before his lungs burst. The water is ice cold and waking him up. He grabs his circular shield and slides through the hatch to look for Hilda but she is long gone.

END PT. 2
RED SKULL: ENDING


This "ending" is one of those "write it to get it down" numbers. Very rough and not all the logical or dramatic moments have been work out. Hilda's character represents the innocence of Germany that was hijacked by the Nazi regime. Since this represents the last few minutes of the movie, a lot of the action and dialogue would be compressed. I am leaving everything in without much edit to give a flavor of what the last scenes could be like.
in without much edit to give a flavor of what the last scenes could be like.


BEN: Cool! And now to review...

INT. SUBMARINE - MOMENTS LATER

Red Skull can be seen walking through corridors, sliding down ladders to lower levels until he catches up to the two large Nazis and the three remaining bar maids.
We can cut this a bit to "Red Skull walks through corridors and slides down ladders into the submarine's lower levels. His two Nazi henchmen and the three remaining barmaids await him." I removed the "we" POV (which again is my style) and the reason why I make them wait for him instead is catching up with them kind of give power to them in that Skull is behind and has to catch up.

FIRST NAZI
Where is Hilda...?

RED SKULL
She volunteered to stay with the American. She won't be joining us.

His henchmen throughout this scene seem a little forward. Skull must have respect for them to allow them to question him, yes/no? Either that or Skull would shoot them dead, me thinks.

They reach a hatch going down. It has a warning "X" on it. The Red Skull spins the handle, opens it and motions for the girls to go down the ladder.<<This action is a little confusing. Just need to be clearer on where the hatch leads..

RED SKULL
This is as far as you go soldiers. I need you to scuttle the ship when
I have gone. You may also encounter our visitor and I am ordering
you to do what is right for the Reich. Do not let anyone pass.

FIRST NAZI
It is our honor to serve you Red Skull...

SECOND NAZI
The American is a weakling.

FIRST & SECOND NAZI
(in unison)
Just a reminder, for stage directions like this, put in a return and wrap in parentheses.

Long live the Red Skull!!

RED SKULL
Danke.

Red Skull blows a smoke ring at the two men and descends. The hatch clangs shut and the handle turns.
I think this section could be more subtle and that Skull should appeal to them in some way-- either they will do as he says out of utter devotion or some such to make their motivation clear. That's in order to make them more human than just cardboard like most films with henchmen. I'm sure Skull thinks they fear him sufficiently to do as he says, but the smoke-ring kind of indicated he has to show it. If he has to show it, is he really confident? Of course, writing powerful villains is probably much harder than writing heroes!


FIRST NAZI
Why didn't Herr Skull finish the Amerikaner? Why did he leave Hilda with him?

Here of course we'll want to return us to the brig with a slug line and nix the mention of shots.

INT. SUBMARINE - BRIG

CUT TO: XCU of SS knife. We are back in the chamber with Cap and Hilda.
Hilda is playing with the knife, changing her grip nervously.

CAPTAIN AMERICA
Cut me free.

HILDA
My father and mother died in Allied bombing...

CAPTAIN AMERICA
Red Skull must pay for his crimes...

HILDA
My older brother was shot in the head by an American soldier...

She draws the knife close to Captain America's neck.

CAPTAIN AMERICA
The war is over. You don't need to do this.

HILDA
My sister Helga was fourteen. Do you know what they did to her?
Can you even guess?

The knife starts to dig into his flesh. Cap becomes very still. << Keep it definitively in the present tense, perhaps "Cap freezes."

HILDA
Red Skull promised me that someday I could take my vengeance,
someday I could show the Allies my strength, someday my
family could rest in peace...

This is a tough scene because it's expository dialog, but you don't go too long which is very good.


We see only her face as she makes a mad slash. Flecks of blood cover it. She is laughing. << I'm not totally sure why she laughs. I kinda get it, but I'm not totally sure it lines up with what comes later.

INT. SUBTERRANEAN HANGAR
Don't need the Cut to >>CUT TO: Red Skull and the three bar maids. They are inside a giant housing underneath the submarine. It is actually many times larger than the sub itself and consists of a broad steel floor dominated by a gigantic circular sunken area filled with sea water. Pieces of ice float in portions of it but the area is not lit up and only a fraction can be seen. The steel floor stretches in every direction hinting at a its size. It is loaded with all manner of goods from automobiles to racks of clothing, crates of alcohol, food, munitions, aircraft, tanks, artworks, gold bars and more. << This description would have to be trimmed, but no prob.

Red Skull looks down the circular walkway and motions towards the remaining three girls. They approach as ordered. He reaches into a wooden crate and pulls out three bottles of French champagne.

RED SKULL
Tonight we celebrate. Put these on ice and slip into something more comfortable.

They depart leaving Red Skull alone on the walkway. He strides briskly to another set of crates, opens them and pulls out pistols and ammunition. As he loads the weapons he talks.

RED SKULL
Captain America. I can not kill you when you are so weak.
It does not prove my superiority to do so. Whatever power
on earth brought you here, you will regret it.
I like the idea that he talks to himself. At first I was thinking it's a bit cheesy, but Skull (or at least his ego) would indeed believe no one can understand him, except him (and maybe Cap.)
Finishes loading pistols. Heads in direction bar maids went.

INT. BRIG
Don't need >>We return to Hilda and Captain America.<< Hilda is speckled with blood and sitting on the floor holding the Nazi dagger. Captain America is unmoving and bound on the floor.

HILDA
I need to know something. Why did you come here? Herr Skull is much
more powerful than you. He will beat you and leave your bones to bleach.
I like the twist, but I'm not totally convinced of her motivations. It's tough without all the scenes leading up to the end of the film for sure, but I feel like we need to know why she didn't do it. We don't want those around Skull to forsake him too easily.

She pauses and becomes more serious. Perhaps realizing that a life is in her hands.<< I'm not sure we can show this. Or at least it can't be "perhaps."

HILDA
I slit your throat. Not deeply but I did it, as requested by Herr Skull.

CAPTAIN AMERICA
Cut my rope.

As he says this a loud alarm sounds on the submarine. Somewhere above there is a sound like thunder. The whole compartment shakes.

HILDA
What is it?

The noise is getting louder. she stands and looks up at the ceiling. She can hear pipes creaking. Then, it is unmistakable, the sound of running water in a torrent.
HILDA (turns back to Cap)
Will you kill him? Will you kill Herr Skull?

CAPTAIN AMERICA
He is a war criminal. I must bring him alive to justice...

HILDA
I need to know. If you can't take him alive? What then?

CAPTAIN AMERICA
I will take his body back to show the world that he is a threat no more.

Icy water is running down the walls and starts filling up the compartment. Cap can barely hold his head above water. Metal groans even louder. Hilda holds the knife carefully.

HILDA
I can't cut your ropes. You will find a hatch on the lower deck marked with an "X".
That is where he will be. If you are as courageous as you seem, you must face him there.

She tosses the knife at Cap and runs through the hatch as the water covers his head. Cap wiggles and picks up the knife with his tied hands. He manages to cut himself free before his lungs burst. The water is ice cold and waking him up. He grabs his circular shield and slides through the hatch to look for Hilda but she is long gone.


I think we'd need to pop out of the scene at some point to show the boys scuttling the sub-- show them planting explosives or turning the red "do not close this" value and jumping ship . Then we'll know why the compartment is filling with water and why it's dry where Cap ends up.

WOOT! I can't wait until Monday for the next part. This is great, Rick!


1 comment:

  1. This is post 2 of 5 in the Cap vs. Red Skull finale. I wrote these sections very quickly without rewrites or edits. These are my first impressions of how I wanted to get the story down. I leave the unenviable task of proofing, editing and analyzing to Ben. He is more than well equipped to do so and I didn't tell him about the Red Skull posts until well after I had started. We are working on different coasts after all and at least three hours time difference.

    The character of Hilda is problematic. In this quick jaunt she has a pretty good size role in the final arc of both Cap and Red Skull. I invented her strictly for the finale. You won't find her anywhere else in the blog. She is part of my attempt to show Cap in a weakened condition. This young woman has the power of life and death over Cap. As she recounts, she has every reason to hate America and Captain America. Red Skull has promised her that she can take revenge for her family. He gives her an SS dagger and leaves her alone.

    It is really not a good idea to insert new characters into the ending of a story. Bad form. Lazy. Sloppy. Not a preferred way to solve story problems. I understand this. Cap needs to have a conversation with someone other than the Red Skull to show his resolve.

    Why does she not cut Cap deeply? Ben rightfully explains that if I am going to go there, I need to be all in. This is hinted at. She wants Cap to kill the Red Skull. It is something she can not do. The reason for this is only hinted at in the widest possible context. As a reader we do not know why. In a rewrite, this would get attention.

    At the close of post #2, Hilda tosses a still bound Cap the SS dagger and exits. This is not before getting a promise from Cap as to how Red Skull will be treated or killed. This is important to her and yet, she does not free our hero. Her character is not fully redeemed.

    The stakes increase for Cap and time is running out.

    RICK

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