BEN: Like 1-3, I'll comment after the first go-through of Rick's script.
SUMMARY PT. 1, 2 & 3
Somewhere below the Arctic Circle the Red Skull holds Cap inside a submarine. Cap is weak and bound, an easy kill for the Red Skull. We soon discover that the Red Skull has other plans for Cap. They come face to face and must fight.
RED SKULL: ENDINGS - PT. 4
INT. SUBTERRANEAN BASE - HANGAR
Cap and the Red Skull stand a few feet apart. Cap is looking for an opening.
RED SKULL
You are totally out matched. Why don't you simply give up. No one would
know except you and I. If you found yourself back in Europe or in the
States and told them I got away, it wouldn't be a lie.
You are totally out matched. Why don't you simply give up. No one would
know except you and I. If you found yourself back in Europe or in the
States and told them I got away, it wouldn't be a lie.
Cap swings with his right and connects hard then follows it with a knee to the chest and another right. Red Skull staggers.
RED SKULL
Is that all you've got? (Wipes trickle of blood from the corner of his mouth with
the back of his hand) That Super Soldier Serum you have in
your veins is only going to make you my punching bag.
Is that all you've got? (Wipes trickle of blood from the corner of his mouth with
the back of his hand) That Super Soldier Serum you have in
your veins is only going to make you my punching bag.
Red Skull springs into action and chops Cap on the neck before he can bring his shield up. Then several lefts to the torso and a powerful right to the gut. Cap buckles and collapses to one knee. Red Skull places a mighty kick behind Cap's ear and he is down on hands and knees. Red Skull stands over Cap shouting. Spit flies with every word.
RED SKULL
Is this what you wanted?! Weren't you going to take me back for justice? Your friend put up
more of a fight than this. Nobody cares about you and your pathetic laws. You are weak
and inferior. I will crush you Captain America. Who are you doing this for anyway?
Is this what you wanted?! Weren't you going to take me back for justice? Your friend put up
more of a fight than this. Nobody cares about you and your pathetic laws. You are weak
and inferior. I will crush you Captain America. Who are you doing this for anyway?
"Who are you doing this for anyway?" echoes high in the rafters.
RED SKULL
Stay down and I will get my butcher's knife and section you up right now!!
Stay down and I will get my butcher's knife and section you up right now!!
CAPTAIN AMERICA
Gypsies, homosexuals, Jews.
(raises to one elbow)
Undesirables.
(raises to one knee)
The German people, all the people of Europe, all the people of the world
(stands)
Everyone rounded up and tortured, raped and murdered.
For Bucky, for Hilda. But I do this for myself Red Skull because I believe in Justice.
(clenches fists)
Gypsies, homosexuals, Jews.
(raises to one elbow)
Undesirables.
(raises to one knee)
The German people, all the people of Europe, all the people of the world
(stands)
Everyone rounded up and tortured, raped and murdered.
For Bucky, for Hilda. But I do this for myself Red Skull because I believe in Justice.
(clenches fists)
Red Skull is aghast. How can this man be standing right now? Cap launches at him and tackles the Red Skull in his mid section sending both of them tumbling. Before they hit the ground, Red Skull draws one of his guns and starts firing. The bullets ping off Cap's shield. Cap rolls to get away and finds cover behind rows of crates. Red Skull continues firing until he runs out of bullets then grabs his second gun and continues firing.
RED SKULL
Don't hide from me!!! You are too brightly painted and garish to remain unseen.
Don't hide from me!!! You are too brightly painted and garish to remain unseen.
Red Skull stops at one of the crates, opens it and grabs new guns and ammo. This time they have bullets that will pierce Cap's shield. Each shell makes a distinctive sound when fired and the wooden crates disintegrate when hit. Cap runs dodging shrapnel.
Red Skull fires at where he thinks Cap is. Wood splinters again and again until finally, Red Skull starts shooting at cars. On the second shot, an engine explodes in a fireball. Cap is thrown the the steel deck. Both men pause at the introduction of fire.
RED SKULL
These bullets can punch holes in your shield! I'll put one through
your heart. I'll put one through your eye!
CAPTAIN AMERICA
Can't they also go through the hull of this ship?
These bullets can punch holes in your shield! I'll put one through
your heart. I'll put one through your eye!
CAPTAIN AMERICA
Can't they also go through the hull of this ship?
Red Skull fires at the sound of Cap's voice. Then he looks around. The fire is spreading A hull breach could spell the end of his plans. Red Skull now runs for the front compartment. He jams the controls "forward" and grabs the three girls and brings them out. They are crying.
RED SKULL
Save them Captain America. Like you saved Hilda. Come out where I can see you.
Save them Captain America. Like you saved Hilda. Come out where I can see you.
Captain America launches his shield at the Red Skull and hits his wrist so hard it nearly takes his hand off. But, the shield fails to return.
RED SKULL
(Makes injured hand into a fist. You can hear bones grinding)
Electromagnetism, that is what drives this ship. Your shield will not return to you.
(Makes injured hand into a fist. You can hear bones grinding)
Electromagnetism, that is what drives this ship. Your shield will not return to you.
Red Skull runs full tilt at Cap, jumps a stack of crates and knocks Cap skidding to the floor. He lands punch after punch, striking as hard as he can. Fire burns around them and has caught more of the vehicles. We see flame lick toward a single barrel marked fuel in German and then the camera pulls back to reveal a large number of barrels.
RED SKULL
I alone. I - AM - SUP - ERIORRR!!!
I alone. I - AM - SUP - ERIORRR!!!
Cap twists and is able to throw Red Skull off. He follows this with a powerful kick which sends Red Skull reeling. Red Skull scrambles and is lost in the smoke and flame. Now Cap can not see his foe. Suddenly, a flaming car parked in the row comes to life and speeds toward Cap, hitting him and throwing him into the open circular area of water. As the car sinks beneath the waves and vanishes, Red Skull peers over the edge satisfied that this has killed Captain America.
CAPTAIN AMERICA
Water can't seem to kill me today Red Skull.
Water can't seem to kill me today Red Skull.
Sopping wet, Cap appears a few feet away. He pulls himself up and out and rolls once on the flooring before coming at the Red Skull in a half crouch. Red Skull throws off the attack. Red Skull then lands a kick to Cap's face and follows with a barrage of punches. Cap sways on his feet but won't go down.
RED SKULL
I'll offer you one of the girls to leave now. You have my word that it is not a trick and they are all quite...flexible... My plans require me to be elsewhere.
CAPTAIN AMERICA
Bribery. I can not take your offer. That is beneath such a superior man. Getting tired? Your Super Formula is going to make you my prisoner today.
RED SKULL
Never. I will never be your prisoner. You disgust me with your weakness and
your dreams of justice and liberty. Only the strong will be allowed to live...
CAPTAIN AMERICA
I will not give up.
I'll offer you one of the girls to leave now. You have my word that it is not a trick and they are all quite...flexible... My plans require me to be elsewhere.
CAPTAIN AMERICA
Bribery. I can not take your offer. That is beneath such a superior man. Getting tired? Your Super Formula is going to make you my prisoner today.
RED SKULL
Never. I will never be your prisoner. You disgust me with your weakness and
your dreams of justice and liberty. Only the strong will be allowed to live...
CAPTAIN AMERICA
I will not give up.
Cap presses forward and grabs Red Skull's hand before he can fire his gun. He crushes the hand and you can hear bones snap. Cap smashes Red Skull several times to the stomach and doubles him completely over in pain. Cap lands a flurry of lefts and rights until Red Skull collapses on top of a stack of crates.
RED SKULL
How far will you go? What are you willing to do to stop me... (weakly)
CAPTAIN AMERICA
Until I have beaten you. That is how far.
How far will you go? What are you willing to do to stop me... (weakly)
CAPTAIN AMERICA
Until I have beaten you. That is how far.
Cap punches Red Skull directly in the face, dislodging a tooth. He is down for the count. Cap walks over and picks up his shield. The girls are huddled next to a car crying, flames still burning in the background.
END PT. 4
RED SKULL: ENDINGS
This was not what I had originally envisioned for an ending yet I find this conclusion somewhat satisfying as far as utilizing elements from the character write up. If Ben and I were to write this, it would get many facelifts or total reworks. Some of the questions we might ask are:
- What is the major action, theme and dialogue in this scene?
- How do the personalities of the two characters create a situation where their conflict MUST be resolved?
- Does the action follow an ascending rhythm?
- Do the characters take risks?
- How will it translate to film?
- Does the finish justify the previous two hours of build up?
- Can it be condensed? Then condensed again?
- Does this satisfy a hero's journey?
- Have all the major ideas in the film lead to this point?
- Is the conclusion predictable and dull?
- Does the emotional content hold the reader's/viewer's attention?
- Is there a specific response that the ending of this film calls for from the viewer?
- How many times does it need to be rewritten?
Indeed. Now, on to reviewings!
INT. SUBTERRANEAN BASE - HANGAR
Cap and the Red Skull stand a few feet apart. Cap is looking for an opening.
RED SKULL
You are totally out matched. Why don't you simply give up. No one would
know except you and I. If you found yourself back in Europe or in the
States and told them I got away, it wouldn't be a lie.
You are totally out matched. Why don't you simply give up. No one would
know except you and I. If you found yourself back in Europe or in the
States and told them I got away, it wouldn't be a lie.
Cap swings with his right and connects hard then follows it with a knee to the chest and another right. Red Skull staggers.
RED SKULL
Is that all you've got?
(Wipes trickle of blood) <<can end here or similar
That Super Soldier Serum you have in your veins is only
going to make you my punching bag.
Is that all you've got?
(Wipes trickle of blood) <<can end here or similar
That Super Soldier Serum you have in your veins is only
going to make you my punching bag.
Red Skull springs into action and chops Cap on the neck before he can bring his shield up. Then several lefts to the torso and a powerful right to the gut. Cap buckles and collapses to one knee. Red Skull places a mighty kick behind Cap's ear and he is down on hands and knees. Red Skull stands over Cap shouting. Spit flies with every word.
RED SKULL
Is this what you wanted?! Weren't you going to take me back for justice? Your friend put up
more of a fight than this. Nobody cares about you and your pathetic laws. You are weak
and inferior. I will crush you Captain America. Who are you doing this for anyway?
Is this what you wanted?! Weren't you going to take me back for justice? Your friend put up
more of a fight than this. Nobody cares about you and your pathetic laws. You are weak
and inferior. I will crush you Captain America. Who are you doing this for anyway?
"Who are you doing this for anyway?" echoes high in the rafters. << Perhaps HIS WORDS ECHO THROUGH THE HANGAR.
RED SKULL
Stay down and I will get my butcher's knife and section you up right now!
Stay down and I will get my butcher's knife and section you up right now!
CAPTAIN AMERICA
Gypsies, homosexuals, Jews.
(raises to one elbow)
Undesirables.
(raises to one knee)
The German people, all the people of Europe, all the people of the world
(stands)
Everyone rounded up and tortured, raped and murdered.
For Bucky, for Hilda. But I do this for myself Red Skull because I believe in Justice.
(clenches fists) << I'd probably bring this down into the action.
Gypsies, homosexuals, Jews.
(raises to one elbow)
Undesirables.
(raises to one knee)
The German people, all the people of Europe, all the people of the world
(stands)
Everyone rounded up and tortured, raped and murdered.
For Bucky, for Hilda. But I do this for myself Red Skull because I believe in Justice.
(clenches fists) << I'd probably bring this down into the action.
Red Skull is aghast. How can this man be standing right now? Cap launches at him and tackles the Red Skull in his mid section sending both of them tumbling. Before they hit the ground, Red Skull draws one of his guns and starts firing. The bullets ping off Cap's shield. Cap rolls to get away and finds cover behind rows of crates. Red Skull continues firing until he runs out of bullets then grabs his second gun and continues firing. << I think I lost track of Cap's shield and forgot Skull was packing heat. Might just want to clear that up a bit.
RED SKULL
Don't hide from me!!! You are too brightly painted and garish to remain unseen.
Don't hide from me!!! You are too brightly painted and garish to remain unseen.
Red Skull stops at one of the crates, opens it and grabs new guns and ammo. This time they have bullets that will pierce Cap's shield. Each shell makes a distinctive sound when fired and the wooden crates disintegrate when hit. Cap runs dodging shrapnel. << Just need to trim this a bit.
Red Skull fires at where he thinks Cap is. Wood splinters again and again until finally, Red Skull starts shooting at cars. On the second shot, an engine explodes in a fireball. Cap is thrown the the steel deck. Both men pause at the introduction of fire.
RED SKULL
These bullets can punch holes in your shield! I'll put one through
your heart. I'll put one through your eye!
CAPTAIN AMERICA
Can't they also go through the hull of this ship?
<< I didn't know they were on a ship-- that would need to be more clear. We have to know the geography so it's easy to imagine the events.These bullets can punch holes in your shield! I'll put one through
your heart. I'll put one through your eye!
CAPTAIN AMERICA
Can't they also go through the hull of this ship?
Red Skull fires at the sound of Cap's voice. Then he looks around. The fire is spreading A hull breach could spell the end of his plans. Red Skull now runs for the front compartment. He jams the controls "forward" and grabs the three girls and brings them out. They are crying.
RED SKULL
Save them Captain America. Like you saved Hilda. Come out where I can see you.
Save them Captain America. Like you saved Hilda. Come out where I can see you.
Captain America launches his shield at the Red Skull and hits his wrist so hard it nearly takes his hand off. But, the shield fails to return.
RED SKULL
(Makes injured hand into a fist. You can hear bones grinding)
Electromagnetism, that is what drives this ship. Your shield will not return to you.
(Makes injured hand into a fist. You can hear bones grinding)
Electromagnetism, that is what drives this ship. Your shield will not return to you.
Red Skull runs full tilt at Cap, jumps a stack of crates and knocks Cap skidding to the floor. He lands punch after punch, striking as hard as he can. Fire burns around them and has caught more of the vehicles. We see flame lick toward a single barrel marked "FUEL" in German and then the camera pulls back to reveal a large number of barrels.
RED SKULL
I alone. I - AM - SUP - ERIORRR!!!
I alone. I - AM - SUP - ERIORRR!!!
Cap twists and is able to throw Red Skull off. He follows this with a powerful kick which sends Red Skull reeling. Red Skull scrambles and is lost in the smoke and flame. Now Cap can not see his foe. Suddenly, a flaming car parked in the row comes to life and speeds toward Cap, hitting him and throwing him into the open circular area of water. << Okay, this is new. To set this up it would probably be easiest to go into some detail back when Skull first enters this location. As the car sinks beneath the waves and vanishes, Red Skull peers over the edge satisfied that this has killed Captain America.
CAPTAIN AMERICA
Water can't seem to kill me today Red Skull.
Water can't seem to kill me today Red Skull.
Probably move this portion to before he speaks. <<Sopping wet, Cap appears a few feet away. He pulls himself up and out and rolls once on the flooring before coming at the Red Skull in a half crouch.>> Red Skull throws off the attack. Red Skull then lands a kick to Cap's face and follows with a barrage of punches. Cap sways on his feet but won't go down.
RED SKULL
I'll offer you one of the girls to leave now. You have my word that it is not a trick
and they are all quite...flexible... My plans require me to be elsewhere.
CAPTAIN AMERICA
Bribery. I can not take your offer. That is beneath such a superior man. Getting tired?
Your Super Formula is going to make you my prisoner today.
RED SKULL
Never. I will never be your prisoner. You disgust me with your weakness and
your dreams of justice and liberty. Only the strong will be allowed to live...
CAPTAIN AMERICA
I will not give up.
<< I like that Skull tempts him, but probably could be cut way down in future drafts.I'll offer you one of the girls to leave now. You have my word that it is not a trick
and they are all quite...flexible... My plans require me to be elsewhere.
CAPTAIN AMERICA
Bribery. I can not take your offer. That is beneath such a superior man. Getting tired?
Your Super Formula is going to make you my prisoner today.
RED SKULL
Never. I will never be your prisoner. You disgust me with your weakness and
your dreams of justice and liberty. Only the strong will be allowed to live...
CAPTAIN AMERICA
I will not give up.
Cap presses forward and grabs Red Skull's hand before he can fire his gun. He crushes the hand and you can hear bones snap. Cap smashes Red Skull several times to the stomach and doubles him completely over in pain. Cap lands a flurry of lefts and rights until Red Skull collapses on top of a stack of crates.
RED SKULL
(weakly) << goes here/before
How far will you go? What are you willing to do to stop me...
CAPTAIN AMERICA
Until I have beaten you. That is how far.
(weakly) << goes here/before
How far will you go? What are you willing to do to stop me...
CAPTAIN AMERICA
Until I have beaten you. That is how far.
Cap punches Red Skull directly in the face, dislodging a tooth. He is down for the count. Cap walks over and picks up his shield. The girls are huddled next to a car crying, flames still burning in the background.
Ouch! Nice! A good first pass. Of course, there could be a lot of trimming in subsequent drafts and I think Skull's motivations could be clearer-- like if he does have the upper hand, why try bribery? It's not bad to be sure, but I feel like Skull needs to be beaten down a bit more before he's desperate enough for that. All in the rewrites! What happens next?! Can't wait 'til Friday for the finale!
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